so i decided to go out with him again and like i said he is a delight. i didnt have the guts to ask about his marrage. i checked his pof profile, it says he is divoriced. anyways, we had drinks and chatted. drinks and chatting is my favorite type of date. he didnt call because him nephew was in the hospital having a brain tumor removed and filling in for his sister at work. they own a family...
so i work as a catering manager. i was at work and grabed a magazine from work about south sound weddings. now im not planning on getting married soon or maybe even ever but bride mags to me is like architectual digest for architects. so i get home and i start flipping though it, no biggy, i thought the midevil wedding at thorwood castle was a little over the top creppy. anyways, i turn the page...
we met up at a gay bar… with friends in tow. a first for me, having friends with me on a meet and greet. it was comfortable, now the comfort could be the 4 shots of fireball whiskey i had serging though my veins. he was very pleasent and calm. what i was really trying to figure out if he was drunk or not… he was just so mellow. we chatted, he bought us shots and then his friend bought...
So I went out with Chad last night. A kinda short barber from Seattle last night. For some crazy reason we thought meeting my in southcenter on Christmas eve would be a great idea!! Not so great idea I thought after sitting in traffic for 15 minutes and then getting stuck in the packing lot for another 15 minutes. The one good thing about it was that the place we were going closes at 6 so there is...
fuck im broke… im not sure how to dig out of it…. im stressed to the max.
dec 3, 10
so i keep thinking about writing a book on my dating life… my friend told me just to start a blog. im worried about who is going to read this but no one will read it in all reality. i was suspost to go out on a date tonight with gabe. met him on pof. i guess my 11 off- of work time worked for him. he called out… thats ok. ok so who im really thinking about is this 22 yr old. he is on...
well i sealed the deal last night. man… i like him. i really like him. hopefully it will be painless and wonderful. im scared and excited. he makes me nervous… butterflies. its a weird feeling to like someone and for them to like you back. i text him nd he text me back… we will see.
hey i saw corey miller at the portland tattoo convention… and im trying to figure out this new guy… he is so funny, so cute and kind and im not really sure why he likes me… sometimes my self esteem is really lacking. he tells me he likes me but my baggage holds me back. i have all these outstanding gourgous friends and i get scared that this guy is going to end up liking one of...
im back…. so so so many thought but have to sort them out on my own before i can even figure out how to put them on paper. life is good, strange, rough, confussing, lovely so on and so forth. gotta get my money and eating under control….
hhhhhmmmm… what a couple of days. i got angry. i mean i got livid!! and it all came out twords someone that i care about so so much. im pretty sure its resolved. i leave for hawaii in a couple of hoursim so tired but my heart is racing. dont know what to do but live day by day. i have to many thoughts to put them down. i should be able to blog in hawaii and maybe my thoughts will figure...
great. my day went from fine to horrible in about 90 seconds today… where did all this drama come from and how am i involved??? its stupid and not important!! thank god for hawaii!
Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
soooo….. i feel mellow. thai food and travel plans is the best!!! leaving soon, i have a date on sat and a lead on a part time cooking job at plu. they pay 90% of your tuition!! what do i want to study?? uuummm nothing to exciting going on. i am excited to lay on the beach and read and have drinks and dinner with my family. ah but the only question is to bring the ol’ lap top.
life is weird…. im totally content today nothing bothering me. although i am thinking about life in general. i wonder if we are born with a path and thats it or can you vere off path and end up in the forest… is this life the life that was planned out for me or did the decicitions iv made brought me here??? i kinda feel like im waiting for something but im not sure what cause my life...
well i feel at piece with a lot right now. im scared of hawaii and all the feeling i have to do…. its going to be draining but so full of love. it weird how feelings can change so much day to day. whem i get back from hawaii im getting back on the weight lose plan ad get me healthy. physically and mentally. straight and narrow and i gotta get a couple of friends on bored too cause we are...
wow…. im done. thats it!!! i cant do this to myself over and over again. what does he have that makes me so drawn to him. i have guys running around after me and i pick the one that is the worst choice… dum, dum, dum. i want to talk to him but not sure if i should do it over text or in person.
hhhhmmmmm…. and the plot thickens. well another weekend is apond us and makin wise choices is rough. i keep trying to be on the straight and narrow. had a good date last night… we will see what happens. hes super cute, quite and mellow. seems nice.
really this is outragous!!! im geting reall close to walking away and not turning back. i hate letting someone make me feel like this.
what am i doing??? is this what they call “out of control”????
i feel lonely tonight. its 1:14am and no one to talk to and i have this amazing bed i sleep in every night and i wish i had someone to share it with this evening… but instead i fall asleep and wake up alone. it makes me sad. im not sure if perfect is real cause iv been looking for 30 years and havent even came close to it. people say it will just click but maybe im just clickless. i always...
well i started up my trip savings envelope again. figured out when cassie is going to move in and feeling some reliefe from all this stress. i guess it just took doing the thing is should do but was to scared of doing it. im always the ”bad guy” but at least im the honest guy. i feel like i could walk though life with good enough…. but i havent even found good enough yet let...
all is calm in my life right now. 28 days till hawaii!! the future might be amazing.
just when i think i got everything figured out… it all comes to a screetching halt. what just happened?? super surprizing. what to do, what to do?? aaaaahhhhhh!!!
rough week. got out last night and im feeling better. i dont get a day off till the 9th… iv done it before i can do it again. i also got my hair cut and colored :)
so im feeling a little overwhelmed. life is flying by right now…. might change my birthday plans to a weekend in seattle instead of vegas or post-pone vegas for a while. we will see.
i guess what they say might be right…. when you stop looking thats when you find it. i have a lot to figure out but i feel like im going in the right direction…. wow what a week. a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!!
12 hours till the “family meeting”. my dads going to die…. we are having a family meeting to plan “around” it. it really sureal. i feel soooo bad for my mom. you think you meet someone and that who your suspost to spend the rest of your life together (my parents love each other so much. they would acually stay together forever and they give me hope that love is out...
stage 4 terminal lung cancer…. 4 months… what do you do? what do you say??
hhhmmmm….. lots of thoughts but they are calm and mellow thoughts. im so use to the jagged ones that its a little scary.
went out last night and met this totally cool guy. tattooed, sweet, and he cuts hair…. it feels good. it was just the topping on a fabulous night out. life is good!! im excited for the BBQ on sunday.
planetnoplanet: Scored a free ticket to see Tori kick off her tour! HEY< YAY! I love craigslist & random awsomeness! its because of your awsomeness!! karma!!
well today was the first day in a long time that i didnt worry about men. iv come to the conclution that i know what i want in a man and i wont settle till i find it. someone i can talk to about my day, someone who asks me how my day was, someone to roast mashmallows with and to tell me what shoes i look hottest in…. im at peace with my choices for the first time in a long long time. im not...